This is the next instalment in a year of guest posts on Joy as part of my year of focussing on joy (my word for the year). This month we have an anonymous post but you can find out more at the author’s blog here. I am so grateful to her for sharing some of her story, and for her absolute honesty and inspiring faith.
**trigger warning, this post contains some of the author’s story of abuse**
Roughly 2 years ago somebody approached me who’s now a very dear friend of mine and suggested I could find my joy in the Lord and that nothing was impossible in him, well at that time I just wanted to tell her where to get off, and what she could do with the Lord’s joy!
Now the reason I reacted like this was because all I could see in my life was utter hopelessness and I felt worthless in the world so there was no room for feeling joyful in my eyes.
The fact that I was severely depressed, had daily suicidal thoughts and rarely even got dressed out my pyjamas to even attempt a new day was a big problem to start with for me.
These problems started from birth as I was brought up in an abusive and violent home and as a young lady I was subject to sexual abuse and horrific rape so how on earth could I even contemplate joy or even know what it was?
The past two years have been a big turn around for me as my dear friend never gave up on me and kept gently dropping little things in about her Lord and saviour and I could see it beaming from her.
I started to find out about Jesus for myself, dared to trust, have faith and began the process of breaking my walls down and letting the Lord into my life in a big way.
I have learnt what joy is and my joy comes from Jesus every day
My Joy comes from looking at how I have been healed in magnificent ways and that the horrors of past don’t define who I am anymore.
My Joy comes from seeing and helping others find Jesus for the first time and being set free from what’s holding them back.
My Joy comes from knowing that I’m a daughter of a king who lavishes his love over me.
My Joy comes from knowing I’m protected and can seek refuge in Jesus.
My Joy comes from seeing how I’ve changed so much and know it’s only because I have Jesus and have put my total dependency in him.
My Joy comes from knowing I have been saved from my tormenting thoughts of suicide and I now know I’m of worth.
I’ve learnt in a very big way that when you put your trust and dependency in Jesus there is so much to hope for, to be joyful about and most of all I can now smile…