One Year On // Post Op

This was me post-op, listening to an 8 hour long worship playlist which got me through!

It’s now just over one year since I suffered a ruptured disk in my back and had surgery to correct it.

Recovery is ongoing.

They told me it would be at least a year and they were right. It has been so up and down throughout the entire year and yet hitting the 12 month mark did seem to bring a realisation that actually it is basically ok. The ups and downs are less violent and the swinging fear of it happening again, and euphoria over new things I can now do again are less pronounced.

I still carry a cocktail of painkillers with me wherever I go, along with my trusty back chair or roll cushion. I have to plan long journeys carefully and take time out from sitting for long periods, often choosing to work at home from the floor of my study, propped up by cushions laying in front of the laptop.

As I write a lone runner zooms past, red, sweaty and clearly enjoying herself. A momentary pang of despair hits me. We are on holiday at Spring Harvest in France. Last time I was here I was doing the same, taking time out of each day to run along the river soaking up the sun and enjoying a new route that hasn’t bored me yet. Last time we were supposed to be here I was actually at home in the post surgery phase. Hard to believe that that was now over a year ago.

There are still things I can’t do, or more perhaps, won’t risk doing. There’s talk of going canoeing this week and whilst I am desperate to go the truth is I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. To get to where I am now, I’ve seen physios regularly, faithfully done my exercises twice, if not three times a day, attended Pilates classes, sat correctly and not done anything stupid, and it still seems any kind of full recovery is a way off. Why would I risk it now? And yet I also don’t want to live in fear, don’t want to be defined by my health. Don’t want to be the boring mum who can’t play football in the garden with the kids, can’t actually change the beds for fear of tweaking something, can’t push a trolley full of food round the supermarket (thank goodness for online ordering). It’s all so boring.  People still ask me regularly how is your back? I’d love to say yes it’s fantastic, never better, but the truth is and my stock answer is ‘it’s ok, bit up and down but I’m fine’. It’s actually nice, having moved churches for curacy to be somewhere where many people don’t know I had the op, so I can escape the questions.

But as this is an update, for those that want to know… I am still doing physio twice a day (at home, I have a set of exercises to do), I walk every day, 3 miles if I can, to keep my back mobile and from seizing up, it’s also the only exercise I get. I am allowed to cycle too but I’m not a cycling fan to be honest so walking it is. Clinical pilates is once a week and boy do I notice it if I miss one. The pain is up and down, I still get nerve pain in both legs and numbness in one foot occasionally. It’s varied and changes from day to day. Sitting for long periods produces latent pain (ie: it appears after the event -usually the next morning), and I know when I’ve pushed it too much like lifting something I shouldn’t, or twisting awkwardly and usually the results last for a few days or longer. Paracetamol and Nurofen are my best friends and I don’t go anywhere without them, but I am thankful that the super strength pain killers, which I also carry with me in case of a relapse, have not been used for months now.

However. It’s all ok. Yes it can be frustrating at times and I hate carrying my back chair or cushion with me like some old lady, but it’s all manageable and I still say I wouldn’t change it for the world. Earlier this year I found myself focussing on the pain too much and I made a choice to remember the blessing of it all every time I felt weighed down by the pain. After all the pain is a reminder of a time which I doubt will be repeated. A time with God that was a gift. Such a special time, unable to do much at all except rest in his presence, read his word, pray. It was like being soaked in him for weeks on end. Oh how I miss that.

So now every time I feel the pain I remind myself of the blessing. And a blessing it was. Is even. It has changed my life, my faith, altered my view on so many things, given me more empathy and understanding and I hope helped me to be a better minister.

So for now I focus on that gift, that blessing and move forward…

Chronic pain or lingering blessing?

This was me post-op, listening to an 8 hour long worship playlist which got me through!

This was me post-op, listening to an 8 hour long worship playlist which got me through!


So most of you know I had surgery on my back last summer. I had a prolapsed disk which was pretty big and really flippin’ painful. It meant 3 months off work, ongoing physio, giving up my beloved running (hopefully temporarily) and a lot of bed rest.

However, you might also know that this time was a total blessing, I’ve written about it before and how I wouldn’t change the experience as it was just a wonderful time with God.

Anyway now here I am, 8 months on and still living with some pain. I’m not going to go into the boring medical details but basically it is just taking a long time to heal, plus I have another dodgy disk. It’s not terrible pain, I’ve still got my pharmacy of painkillers ready and waiting if needed but largely the hard stuff isn’t needed. I saw a physio last week for some ongoing advice and she described what I was suffering from as ‘chronic pain’. I did not like this phrase at all. It suggests to me something that isn’t going away and whilst she did talk about trying to be pain free (and I’m trying some new stuff) there was an element of ‘managing’ the pain. I don’t know why this phrase offends me so much, after all it is chronic, it’s on-going and has been for a while, I guess it’s the naming of it that I find hard. I don’t want to be someone who has ‘chronic pain’ it sounds so terrible, so final, so debilitating… so… weak. I can’t handle being weak…

So in recent weeks I’ve been anxious about the pain and worrying about whether it might get worse, or if the same thing happen again. I’ve  been cross and grumpy, cried a fair amount and yes I’ve prayed a bit too, or if I’m honest, more like moaned at God like some whiny teenager…

Then this morning I was chatting to someone about it all and as we were then praying I really felt a bit of a correction from God. Well quite a big one actually. I had just been saying how I wouldn’t change the whole experience for anything, how it was a complete blessing and had changed my faith as a result of it all, and God was like, ‘oh, really? But I thought you said you wanted this pain to go ?’. All of a sudden I realised actually I had disassociated the pain I am feeling now with that ‘experience’ from last summer. I was just being grumpy about it and not recognising that actually without it, I wouldn’t have had that time with him, it’s all part of the same thing. Does that make sense? I’ve basically been a total hypocrite saying yes it was amazing, I wouldn’t change it and then on the other hand whinging about the pain and wishing it gone!

 Have I actually been asking God to change it, after all? Do I really wish that time away?

Under his wings

This scripture was one that really kept me going…

No! Of course not, and in fact the experience is continuing as I have to take time to walk each day which means more prayer time, I have to lie down and rest which means time to read or reflect and I am just so much more focussed on God. So what is it that I am moaning about? Actually in the suffering (which is really not that bad in the scheme of things) He is with me so much more than ever.

So now I’m repenting and turning about, 180 degrees, a Volte Face moment. I’m praying that whenever I feel the pain I would see it as a blessing, or at the very least as a reminder of God. Instead of being anxious or frustrated I want to embrace the experience that God has given me, to reflect on his presence in my suffering, to be filled with joy at what he has done. So when I feel pain, I will turn to Him, when I feel a twinge, I will not be fearful but turn to joy, when I feel down and disheartened that I can’t yet run, I will remember all the wonderful prayer walks I have had with Him. I will see this as a lingering blessing rather than chronic pain.

Post Godly Surgery #PostOp


DT1

Last weekend we went to David’s Tent – billed as ‘an adventure in worship’, it is basically 3000 or so Christians gathering in a field to worship for 72 hours. There is something very special about it, having been before, I always experience when walking into the big top for the first time, a tangible presence of God, like walking into Him. So, I walked into that atmosphere on Friday evening, ready, prepared but with a slightly distracted mind. 10 mins later I was weeping as I felt God pouring out waves of his love on me. Walking into that atmosphere is like something you have to encounter and get used to, then it becomes ‘normal’ for the weekend – until you have to leave of course, and then there is an almost grief to have to leave it.

On that first evening a word was given (in very American style!) about people having had ‘bummers’ this year. Whilst I don’t think I’d call my back experience a bummer as it’s been a total blessing, as he said it I just felt a total release. Frustration and pain falling away from me.

DT3
When I’ve talked or written about how God has been with me in this time of incapacitation I have given glory to God for his presence with me in it all, for his blessing upon me – it has truly felt like a blessing, and for all He has taught me through this. But then I had to come out of that place. A womb-like, fuzzy warm place, full of love and peace, where the stresses of life don’t exist. Emerging from that was tough. I did not want to come out. Why would I? Getting to spend all day every day with God. Not having to think about my responsibilities. It was wonderful, of course I didn’t want to come out! So the last few weeks have been a transition, learning to step back into my actual life and embrace it, rather then heading back inside that warm place.

It’s taken me a while to get my head around it all. As I said recently in a talk, I think this time was a precious gift that I may never have again. And that’s how I have been trying to see it, as a gift. Something that won’t be taken back but just will be seen, used, experienced, differently as time goes on.

 

IMG_20150831_151750

So this time at David’s Tent God spoke to me about this season of change and transition that I am in.

I keep using ‘ #PostOp ‘ when tweeting or talking about my back. It’s obviously short for post-operative – post surgery, post having stuff dealt with in your body, post knife, pain and stiches.

And this weekend God showed me that Post Op means so much more than post surgery for me right now. It means:

Post-encounter with Him

Post-blessing

Post-God’s operation on my heart – His surgery, His knife, His stitches.

That’s the gift. That His presence with me was not just for that season, to get through, but something that will stay with me. Something that I will continue to learn from, something I will treasure but also know that I carry with me.
We sang the words ‘I am never going back’ one morning (a song by United Pursuit). They just stuck with me. Whatever happens I am never going back to before. Whatever happened in that time with God, has changed me. Just like my surgery, my body will never be as it was before, but neither will my heart or my mind…

 

IMG_20150831_100617

 

 

Quick back update

Thanks again for all the nice emails/cards etc, here’s where I am up to…

2015-06-23 16.07.29

Selfie on my (short) walk

So it’s 2 weeks tomorrow since the surgery. Amazing really, seems to have flown by. Got to admit the first week was pretty grim, I was really struggling with the after effects of the anaesthetic and drugs etc. Since then it has been rather up and down, I guess I expected a gradual improvement but it has been very varied. However in the last few days I seem to a have turned a corner. I’m only taking paracetamol (and the occasional ibuprofen when needed), and I’m walking further. In fact today I walked round the field behind our house, it’s probably about 1/2 mile in total and included a stile (or perhaps ‘style’ as in my slightly limpy, incredibly slow walking way). It seems crazy to be measuring progress in such small steps but considering I haven’t been able to walk more than a few yards for 6 weeks, this is a massive achievement! I’m still spending a large amount of time lying down and I think I will be for some time yet, but at just 2 weeks post op I’m ok with this. Plus, I still feel an amazing amount of peace in all this, God is soooo good! (I’m planning to vlog about this peace thing in the next few days, much easier than typing at the mo!)

So, I’ve been measuring each day by making a list of small achievements and nice things in my journal so that I can remind myself when I’m having a bad day pain-wise of how far I have come. Here’s some of my faves so far…

  • The early days – spending hours listening to my 8 hour worship playlist on the iPod This totally got me through!
  • Managing to take a shower unaided! (on day 5 – oooh smelly)
  • Saving a bumble bee (day 10) (It was dying stuck by a window so I gave it a spoon of sugar water and it revived and flew off, made me feel so good that I had been able to do something useful in a time when there’s not much I can do!)
  • Being unable to sit for long I’ve been missing the sunshine, until I realised the garden table was the perfect height for lying on – hey presto makeshift bed in the sunshine :) (day 9) Of course it has pretty much rained ever since…
  • Realising I can put my tea mug in the top rack of the dishwasher (day 8) 
  • 2015-06-17 16.09.42Getting to grips with the ‘nimbus 2000’ (right) which enables me to do all sorts of basics (like putting on knickers which had been a tricky one!)
  • Errr, how can I put this, there was ‘movement’ on about day 5, which post op had not been happening… such blessed relief! (sorry for TMI lol!)
  • Praying for prophetic words for people and sending notes with them.
  • Watching all the Darren wilson movies – so inspiring
  • New coloured pens… the simple joys
  • Getting creative again for the first time in years
  • Discovering ‘suits’ on Netflix and that there’s several series to watch :)

So there we are. 2 weeks in and I’m improving, that’s about the size of it. I did a little vlog for my church family here if you want to know a bit more (foolishly shot in portrait, clearly my brain is not quite back to normal…)

If you are the praying type, please keep praying, I really do feel covered in it. Thanks.

 

Post op update

Psalm 91. My daily reminder!

Psalm 91. My daily reminder!

Okay so here’s a little update on my back, which I’m dictating with the speech to text app, as even using my laptop at the moment it’s almost impossible. Praise God for technology! I was going to vlog it but I look so terrible I couldn’t face it!

So… day three post op and whilst medically I am doing well I’ve got to admit I was not prepared for this. Perhaps I’m a bit naïve (which has been said before), but this is more draining, physically and emotionally, than I thought it would be

..oo00oo..

It is so good to be home and be with my family but also I feel a bit isolated.

post op

Post-Op

I’m spending most of the day lying on my back in bed. I can sit for 20 minutes at a time but only twice a day to start with. I am allowed to walk too, but small distances to start with. I thought that would seem very restrictive but to be honest I am completely exhausted. This morning having slept for eight hours I managed to get myself some breakfast but then was so tired I had to go back to bed and sleep for another two hours. I think that is what getting me most, just feeling so weak and feeble. I know part of that is the after-effects of the general anaesthetic and all the drugs I’ve been pumped full of. Of course I’ve been taking horrendous amounts of painkillers for over a month and then in the space of just a few hours had not just the anaesthetic, but various other necessary drugs like morphine, muscle relaxant, anti-biotics and who knows what else. They kept telling me in hospital because I’m so ‘slight’ that unfortunately that was probably why I was suffering so many after-effects, but I’m really hoping it will wear off soon.

..oo00oo..

My goal today was to manage a short walk, which is the one thing I am allowed to do. It took me until 3 o’clock just to feel able to attempt this but I managed it – all 100 yards of it – before having to retreat to bed again. And the next six weeks Will be a similar rota of lying down, walking as able, and sitting for increasingly longer periods, but with no bending or twisting whatsoever. In fact I can do less at the moment than I could before the op. I feel like I can’t do anything – I couldn’t even make myself tea earlier as I couldn’t lift the kettle! I couldn’t get dressed without Phil’s help and it probably doesn’t help that I seem to have lost my appetite completely so I need to remind myself to eat in order to gain much needed energy.

It seems ridiculous to feel so weak and helpless after what is essentially a simple procedure. I actually was shocked when I looked in the mirror earlier and saw how pale I looked. This first week will be basically sleeping I think!

..oo00oo..

But…

Bits of my back!

Bits of my back!

I am determined to stay positive! There are so many good things in all of this. For a start the actual backpain from the prolapsed disc is 90% gone, which is simply staggering. After the op and they showed me the pieces of disk they had removed and they seemed so small to be causing such pain, but often that’s the way isn’t it! think about a paper cut for example!

I also prayed before I went in, for opportunities to share my faith and in the anaesthetic room as I was being put under I found myself talking to the anaesthetist about my journey to vicar school and that I had received prayer for healing. The next morning I shared my testimony with two nurses, in a comedy situation, as they washed me and helped me pee, I told them about Jesus!

In fact the staff were all amazing and dealt with me with such care, love and compassion. So much so that it actually made me feel quite emotional.

..oo00oo..

So… More positives…

my oldest just gave me access to her Netflix account, oh joy so many series to watch!

I have new pens and paper for more prayer doodling and still have plenty of time to pray and seek God.

And there are achievements too – small though they are – it’s only day three but each day I can do a bit more.

I can’t say how thankful I am to those who have rallied round me, not least my amazing husband who is practically a Saint. I’m trying not to ask too much of him but there is a lot to do around here even without me being incapacitated.

I’ve said it before but I will say it again, people have been amazing cooking us meals (and I’m very amused how the text-to-speech that thinks I’ve just said kick ass meals), brought me flowers, sent cards or emails, helped with the kids and just loved me. I am truly overwhelmed.

 

Two things…

 

Two things…

1) So I just had my pre-op appointment for my back surgery. Let’s face it, it was never going to be all that encouraging, but hearing about all the possible bad stuff, how long I’ll be in hospital, how much I can (or rather can’t move) etc = not great.

BUT…

But in all this I just want to give glory to God!

I have now been off work for 4 weeks, mostly lying on my back and in a fair bit of pain. However in all that I’ve felt so peaceful, so covered in prayer, I have felt so close to God and had so much time to pray and worship and seek him, to read, to rest. When else would I have had so much time to do all this!? The bible says God works in all things for good (Rom 8:28), and I really feel that right now. In fact I actually feel blessed in all this, despite the pain! How good is God that I can feel that despite the situation?

 

2) And 2 – is a big THANK YOU!

I just want to say a massive massive thank you to everyone.

Whether you have cooked us a meal, brought me flowers or sent a card, been to visit, prayed for me, lent me DVDs, helped with the kids, done school runs, texted me, Facebooked me, heck even tweeted me… Thank you! I was praying yesterday and thinking about where is Jesus in all this? And I felt he was saying:

 

I am there.

I am there in the neighbour who has brought you food.

I am there in the delivery driver who has asked after you each time he has delivered something.

I am there in the neighbour who has organised you a food rota.

I am there in the kids working together.

I am there in your Parish Priest bringing you communion.

I am there in your husband picking up all the pieces (in sickness and in health).

I am there in the friend who has picked up your kids.

I am there in your family helping out all over the place.

I am there…

 

Receive my love.

 

And I do feel loved. Not just be Jesus, but by all of you…

 

 

 

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

 

(Matthew 25:37-40)

 

 

Beautiful Pain

MRI
Yes this is my spine…

So, I’ve now spent 2 ½ weeks off work at home (and 5 weeks before that in pain) with a prolapsed disk in my back. That’s the MRI of it up there, Mount Fuji the consultant called it, except I’m sure Mt Fuji is infinitely more beautiful than that mess. I’m now awaiting surgery, although I wanted to see if it would begin to heal on its own, so he gave me 2 weeks to see if it would improve, or as I see it, 2 weeks for God to perform a miracle.

If you’ve seen my last few posts you’ll know I wasn’t handling the pain well. There may have been some swearing. But in that first week I realised I had a choice, to give in to the pain or to seek God. I chose God. I mean it’s a no brainer. Jesus suffered the most pain ever, so he knows, right?

In prayer last week I felt the words ‘allow God to make the pain beautiful’. To someone with chronic long term pain I can imagine that might sound insensitive or even impossible and I’m not yet entirely sure what it means for me, but I have been trying to seek God each day. Whatever state I’m in. Sometimes that means bring curled in a ball, sobbing, simply able to utter the name of Jesus. Other days I’ve been able to pour over the bible and really get stuck into God’s word. And I’ve been reading Job (as you do).

The thing I’ve learned from Job is not to turn my back on God. He moaned, 7:7 ‘My eyes will never see happiness again’ – and oh yes, have I moaned. I have written countless posts and scrapped them as I tried to figure things out in my head. I made a mental list of al the things I was missing out on: Big church day out, Pentecost, having fun with the kids, preaching, seeing friends, running, heck just walking would be nice.

Job got annoyed with his friends, 16:2 – ‘miserable comforters are you all!’ – well my husband has had that pleasure, sorry hon.

Job tries to work out why? 7:20 ‘why have you made me your target?’ -well I’ve done a bit of that too and he feels abandoned and alone, 19:7 – yep felt that too.

But in it all, Job doesn’t reject God, he is still talking to him, questioning him, and in fact his very first response is to fall on the ground and worship, 1:20. Wish I could say mine was the same…

But you know what, God is in this for me too. It’s taken me a few weeks to suss that out. I’ve been seeking him, I’ve been praying reading my bible, reading Christian books, but I guess I’ve just felt a little bit too sorry for myself.

Camp on the floor, with all things necessary within reach. Now if I could just drink tea down here...
My camp on the floor, with all things necessary within reach. Now if I could just drink tea down here…

This week though, this week I’ve turned a corner. Not in any recovery sense, in fact if anything it’s getting worse, I am largely consigned to the floor, but I just know God is with me.

In a funny way it’s a bit like being on retreat, in that life outside of this bubble of infirmity, is on hold, and there’s nothing I can do about it. So inside the bubble it’s all my choice, or God’s if I let him. I can’t plan ahead, I can’t focus – if this post even makes any sense we’ll be on to a winner, but the one constant in the bubble and out, is God and for that I am immensely, pathetically grateful.

So, if you are a praying type, please do, as it’s looks like surgery will be within the next few weeks and I’d love to go back to the consultant and tell him all pain has miraculously gone! But if I’m not healed, that’s ok too, because so long as God is with me, I’m ok.

Some More Thoughts on Being in Pain

This post first appeared on blogger here on 12/5/15.

So a few weeks ago I visited Premier Radio and made the most of the freebie mags in the reception area, stocking up my bag for later reading. Yesterday as I sat in a pain/drug induced heap I reached for the nearest thing to me to try and take my mind off my failing body. Youthwork magazine was on the top of the pile and in no coincidence I’m sure, features this fabulous article by Danielle Strickland about pain. She suggests, in a nutshell, that not only do we need pain but that it is a gift and through it God speaks to us.  (Note there is a link above but to read it you need to sign up for the free trial, or subscribe, sorry about that).
Do read it if you can, I’ve read it three times now and keep finding more things to ponder upon and it’s sent me straight back to the book of Job for some theological reflection (my Tutors at #VicarSchool would be so proud).
Like Strickland, I’ve been taught in the school that says pain and suffering is never of God and that we should pray until it’s gone. I don’t disagree with that but equally I’m not sure I sign up to it 100% either. I’m not even thinking about the whole predestination thing or what prayer is about, I’m just thinking: why should we expect to go through a life without pain or suffering? Which is basically what this school of thought expects – a life of ‘unsuffering’. I mean where does that come from? The bible is full of people suffering and in pain and yes I know there’s also masses of healing too, but there’s also those that live through it.

I think I see the idea of life without pain and suffering as the ultimate goal, the kingdom of God here on earth, which we’ll one day see. But by the same token, although that kingdom is here and now, it’s also not yet.
The danger of believing that pain can be dealt with by praying it away is that when it doesn’t, where do you go? I spent months if not years praying against exhaustion and CFS. There was no instant miracle, there was a gradual recovery and perhaps that was of God, after all I did improve and I do lead a relatively normal life. But it was not what I was seeking. In fact I think it was when I let go of waiting for a miracle that I was actually able to find God in it all.
So now. Today. Still in pain but better than the day before. I want to sit and just be, but I’m not sure I’m capable of it so I’m varying my day with some reading and some vegging. And in the reading, as I said, I find myself drawn back to Job. I do find the book of Job a comfort. I did when I was ill with exhaustion and I do now. There’s something about the not understanding what’s going on and why awful stuff is happening, that Job helps with. And what is his reaction to the hideous things that happen to him? Simple: he falls down and worships God. Not after a good moan, then he turns to God. Not once he’s got angry and shouted, then he turns to God. Not after the initial shock, then he turns to God. No, the first thing he does is to worship. And Job didn’t just have a bit of back pain, he lost everything (except his wife – I’m sure there something in there to reflect on…). Everything. Home, business, family, all gone in one day.
I wish I could say I reacted as he did. But I am choosing to today. To seek God in it all. I don’t think he made this happen, I don’t think it’s what he wanted to happen but I sure do believe he can redeem this pain. Even in my drug-pain-fuddled state, I choose to see this as an opportunity. An opportunity to spend time with him and to listen. I was scribbling notes in my journal earlier only to see at the bottom of the page written: ‘Be Still and know that I am God’ from Psalm 46.
Yes. Just this…

Praising God

So today I simply want to give glory to God…

A few weeks ago I hurt my back. I have been seeing a chiropractor and thought it was improving. But last Sunday, when some friends were praying for me it got a whole heap worse. Really badly so, I couldn’t drive home, I was in agony! I didn’t sleep and the following day I needed help to get out of bed. I think only someone who has done their back in can understand that kind of pain. I can laugh now but it really wasn’t funny, it took me 15 mins to get out of bed moving a milimetre at a time, bawling my eyes out with my husband standing by not sure what to do with me yelling, ‘don’t touch me!’ I hobbled downstairs, unable even to pull my PJ’s up after going to the loo (which in itself was a mission…!) I then sat, well perched, on a chair crying for most of the day… I tell you this not to create a sob story, but so you understand how bad it was…

Thankfully my husband went off to the pharamcy to get me some painkillers which kicked in later that day. However I then found out I was allergic to them and had to stop and was limited only to paracetamol, and then even those were affecting me so I had to stop them as well! When I stopped taking them I thought the pain would go back to being as strong as it was, but it hasn’t! I have now been 24 hours with no painkillers whatsoever and although I can feel the soreness in my back, it is actually better than it was before I tweaked it at the weekend.
On Monday I couldn’t walk, couldn’t really function to be honest. And I thought it would be a long shot whether I would get to my BAP next week. Now, well I am almost pain-free, no pain killers and definitely going to BAP!

Frankly, I think my recovery has been almost miraculous. I saw my chiropractor this morning and described everything that had happened. But when she examined me and prodded around my back she said she was really surprised there wasn’t more evidence of the problem. I was also surprised at the marked lack of painful points when she was prodding my back. In fact I would say this is the least painful visit to her I have had!

So what changed? Well, Lots of people have been praying for me, although the only ones who have actually prayed with me since Sunday are my husband and kids. Key, I think is that a couple of people had pictures for me, or things they felt could be causing it spiritually and I have prayed through all of those and here I am…

So, I am giving all the glory to God for this healing. I honestly believe God has been healing me, I can’t see how I would have not only improved but be in less pain that I was before the weekend without some divine help!