10 reasons why not to be a Vicar

Ok so the title is cribbed from Lesley, and I’m sure it won’t be as funny, but these are my reasons why I should NOT be thinking of Ordination:

1: I am SO not equipped. I haven’t even read the entire bible yet and I have no idea about the books – I mean am I the only one who thinks of Emmerdale when I see the ref: Amos? (and no I don’t watch it and no, I’m really not that old…)

2: I am nearly 40 for goodness sake. don’t the church need new young bright things to take it into the future? right now I feel neither new, young or bright, distinctly dull might be nearer the mark actually…

3: I am stepping back from work because I can’t have my cake and eat it (but oh boy do I love cake. no, I mean real cake, that wasn’t a metaphor). SO, why would I want to throw myself into something as huge as this when really I want to be a stay at home mum and bake all day…

4. Seriously, a dog collar? In my youth I was a bit of ‘crusty’, and whilst my clothing has improved dramatically over the years, let’s just say that old habits die hard. Boots and leggings are my preferred dress. I don’t really do smart and the thought of robes and collars makes me want to run (as do a lot of things about this). and anyway what is the dog collar about? where did that come from in the first place? as they say – must have been designed by a man…

5. I live in a rural idyll. It’s like something out of ‘Country Living’. It’s like going back 50 years. I regularly go out leaving my door unlocked (probably shouldn’t advertise that too far…), everyone knows each other, and looks out for each other. we walk across the fields to get to school, a school which has only 100 pupils in the whole school. The kids all play out in the road in the evenings. It is lovely. we always say moving here was the best thing we ever did. SO WHY? would I want to uproot everyone and move to some far flung corner of the country where I am pretty sure we won’t be able to recreate what we have here… (and I will have to wear a dog collar…)

6. My 14 year old will hate me. Actually she regularly tells me she does anyway so maybe that should negate no.6..
but if I, a) become a vicar b)make her move c) both of the above, let’s face it, I will be toast…

7. I love my church. Matt Redman comes to my church sometimes. It is C-O-O-L. I don’t want to have to find a new church, we just found this one. It’s the first church I have really felt comfortable in, that I feel I belong in. And what’s more, after training I will have even less choice as it will be my job (eek) so then I can’t just check out all the churches in the area, I will have to go to mine. Unless of course I get a job here, now that would be ok I guess.

8. Will making church my job take away the enjoyment? I don’t want to be in a position where I have to go to church because even though I love my church now, let’s face it sometimes Sunday mornings lend themselves rather well to lie ins, right? And well being a Vicar would kind of take that away. Unless I’m in a very sleepy parish and then they probably wouldn’t notice ;)

9. I do not like liturgy, and I don’t have to be a prophet to know that could be a problem with the Bishop…

10. The PCC. need I say more…

11. I just put my husband through rather a lot by starting my own business and then less than 3 years later deciding I want out. I think he would rather like me to get a ‘proper job’

12. If I’m honest I don’t want my friends at church to know about this (so Soraya, what I write on the blog stays on the blog…!) because even though they are all Christians and in theory won’t judge me, I am sure they will all have an opinion on what kind of Vicar I would make, and you know what, frankly I don’t want to hear that.

13. ditto the above for my non-Christian friends just minus the line about not judging – they will. and I still dont want to hear that.

Oh gosh this list could go on and on…. but for now, that will do.

15 thoughts on “10 reasons why not to be a Vicar

  1. Alan Crawley says:

    Why are you spending so long coming up with reasons not to? I went to a vocations event to prove that I wasn't called – big mistake!

    How serious are you about some of these?

    If you want to overcome them there is always a way. Non Stipendiary ministry for example, with part time training?

    And at 40, sadly, you would reduce the average age of ordination in your year

  2. Jules
    Jules says:

    Lesley – thank you, give me time for another glass of wine and there will be 14 more reasons not to… ;)
    Alan, I dont know, I think I'm trying to get all the crap out of my head so it seems easier. thanks for the tip though – will avoid vocations events from now on…
    I think I am taking steps forward and I did actually just say to my husband, 'ok I think I can actually admit there is probably a calling there…' which I definitely couldnt have done even last week… watch this space…

  3. Lesley says:

    Plus your 14 year old won't care – 1 year to get selected, 3 years part time training – she'll be 18 and off your hands. Then you can decide whether to be Stipendiary or Non-stipendiary.

    These reasons are rubbish, except for the dog collar one, obviously ;)

  4. Suem says:

    You have to think about whether you are really being called or not. People frequently ask me whether I am going into ministry, but I have never felt any inclination or calling at all. So, you have to think about whether this is coming from God, or just from you. And that is the hardest thing to discern!

  5. revsimmy says:

    If you can come up with this many reasons you must be qualified ;)
    BTW my 15 year old lad hated me for the first six months of my training – after that, the move was the best thing that ever happened. But no guarantees…

  6. Jonathan says:

    Bother to all that (e.g. I've just clicked send on the Diocesan Application form ("don't forget the references") and I was 40 a couple of months back). Sounds like He's got you by the short-and-curlies there if those are the best you can come up with…

  7. dmk says:

    This sounds a bit like Moses/Gideon and all the other misfits in history who tried to tell God that he'd picked the wrong person.

    If you're nearly 40 you'll bring the average age of vicars down. Frightening but true.

    Pick the right parish and you can have as much cake as you want. And invite Matt Redman whenever you want to.

    You've done way too much thinking about this for someone who's not interested in it…..

  8. Jules
    Jules says:

    Thanks all, and welcome to those of you who haven't comented before – nice to have you here :)
    I had started a post with a host more reasons why not to… but I guess there isn't actually any point.
    I still wont wear a dog collar though ;)
    red

  9. My lips are sealed…
    But you know my darling newly wet behind the ears "Sista Eternal" (my new name for sister's in the Lord) "perfect love casts out all fear" Our God's perfect love not ours.
    So although you gave 13 or is it 14 reasons why not to. I say wait on the Lord as the psalmist said (Psalm 27:14) Commit your works to the Lord and your thought will be established (Proverbs 16:3) and remember "You are His sheep you hear His voice. You don't have to know nuttin just follow" (John 10:27)
    One sure way to know whether this is God is the way you are feeling "the devil drives but God leads" goats have to be driven but we are called sheep and we follow our shepherd.
    So as I said just chill bay bay all will get clearer.
    When we have our cupper we will talk more.
    xxoo
    Oh and about your secret "Those who matter care and those don't care don't matter"
    Love you sweets, Firedancer

  10. Anonymous says:

    10 reasons why not to be a Vicar- REFUTED!

    1: I am SO not equipped. I haven't even read the entire bible yet – Nor did Moses! Or hmmm ANY of the disciples!

    2: I am nearly 40 for goodness sake. That would make you an ankle biter in old testament terms! What the church needs are people who can talk across the generations!

    3: I am stepping back from work because … I want to be a stay at home mum and bake all day… THEN seek Him and maybe He will deliver a ministry that you can do that and bring glory to him.

    4. Seriously, a dog collar? Better a dog collar than bag full of regret!

    5. I live in a rural idyll… Have a chat to Abram who left his hometown… Look at the wonders God provided…

    6. My 14 year old will hate me… hmmm I don't thinks so…. I think she loves you lots.. and … didn't bat an eyelid when she was told by some oaf of a guest who had foot IN mouth disease said something.

    7. I love my church…. URM who's church is it….? His church, and maybe you need to be somewhere where people say this I love my church cos my vicar is called Rev Red and she's awesome, and she really ushers us into the presence of God!

    8. Will making church my job take away the enjoyment? I don't want to be in a position where I have to go to church because even though I love my church now, let's face it sometimes Sunday mornings lend themselves rather well to lie ins, right? And well being a Vicar would kind of take that away. Unless I'm in a very sleepy parish and then they probably wouldn't notice ;)……….. MONDAYS MAKE A GREAT LIE IN!

    9. I do not like liturgy, and I don't have to be a prophet to know that could be a problem with the Bishop… He loves liturgy have a gander through the old testament, but whose to say that you aren't going to be somewhere like where the church you attend and the liturgy isn't over the top.

    10. The PCC. need I say more… hmmmm want to say something… but will hold back..This will do Plant a church and you wont have a PCC..

    11. I just put my husband through rather a lot by starting my own business and then less than 3 years later deciding I want out. I think he would rather like me to get a 'proper job' ….. YEAH I can understand that… Joseph might have felt the same … however … a calling is a calling..

    12. If I'm honest I don't want my friends at church to know about this (so Soraya, what I write on the blog stays on the blog…!) because even though they are all Christians and in theory won't judge me, I am sure they will all have an opinion on what kind of Vicar I would make, and you know what, frankly I don't want to hear that. ….. Ummmmmmmmmmm TOO LATE…. oops God made me do it…

    13. ditto the above for my non-Christian friends just minus the line about not judging – they will. and I still dont want to hear that…. Oh for goodness sakes … you make a great Vicar.. Just get on with your calling and stop stone walling! pffftt Keep stalling and I will see you in a whales belly!

    God bless you Rev Red!

  11. Wendy says:

    Thanks for making me feel almost normal…I feel like you’ve seen inside my head…even the business thing! He keeps biting me on the bum though (latterly yelling in my ear!). Being divorced, I’ve heard some C4 horror stories (does anyone actually get past this?), but I’ve been running in the other direction for too many years…better get that form filled in, I’ve only had it for 6 months (part of me still trying to run away?). ?

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