Being a rebel in the church…

Is being a rebel ok?

I’ve beeen worrying recently about my specific calling. I don’t mean the ‘into ministry’ bit, but the actual specifics, which for me are about change/reform/trasnforming the church from the inside (in a completely non-arrogant way…) But after a few rather un-inspiring meetings with ministers and others I was feeling very down cast. What kind of chuch will I end up in? Will I be forced somewhere I don’t want to go? How much choice do I have? What are the options available for an evanglical woman in this diocese? (limited I have been imagining…)

But I know my calling is about change, I am someone who pushes boundaries, a natural rebel and probably (!) have an issue with bowing to authority.. However at the moment I seem to be doing a lot of hoop-jumping and having to ‘tow the line’ so needless to say I have been a bit despondent…

But yesterday I met a rather fantastic Vicar, who I won’t name, who was so encouraging and told me to protect my calling, not let anyone take that away from me. He inspired me in the way he does things in his church (I think he would probably admit he is a bit of a rebel..) and in fact sounded a bit like me. It was such a pleasure to meet someone like that after the recent negativity. I cannot repeat all he said for fear of getting him in trouble, but needless to say he just made me feel that it’s ok to be a bit of a rebel. Not in a ‘I’m always going to do my own thing’ kind of way, but just in recognising what God is calling me to, which may not always be all that popular…

I have my last meeting with my VC tomorrow (all being well and she doesn’t add on anything else to do..) and I had been wondering about postponing, for fear of what might come next, but now I feel refreshed again and full of optimism for what God has in store for me. So thank you, nameless Vicar, you don’t know how much of a difference you made 🙂