“I don’t know how you do it…”

This post is for anyone who has ever asked a busy woman (or maybe a busy man but I’m only qualified on the one count) ‘how do you do it?’…

It’s a question I get asked from time to time in a sort of awe struck way – how do you manage to do so much? how do you get so much done? how how how?

So here I am declaring, and probably on behalf of other busy women, (although I speak only for myself!) stop putting me on a pedestal! I am not perfect!

Yes I get a lot done, I am a capable person, I admit that (in a totally non up-my-own-backside kind of way) but the truth is I fail daily. I fall apart. I get cross with my kids. I miss things that are important. And I regularly melt down, but of course no one (except sometimes my husband) sees that.

I once spent some time working for a person who everyone thought was amazing, perfect and a complete shining example of life itself. Working for that person I realised that behind the scenes they are just like every one else. They get stuff wrong, make mistakes, look dreadful first thing before the ‘daytime mummy’ kicks into action (you need to read that book to understand that comment) and I am just the same. I hate when people say to me, ‘how do you do it’ because it means that I am not coming across as normal. Because normal people make mistakes and get stuff wrong. So here I am setting you straight…

I am a Mum and a wife and I LOVE that. My husband and kids are my reason for living. They will always come first. Before work, before the stuff I love, before my friends. My family rocks my world 🙂 However…  I still fail at being a wife and a mum regularly. I forget to do the Tesco shop so there’s no food in the house. I don’t give my husband enough attention. I shout at the kids. I don’t clean the loo or do the ironing. Just like anyone else.

I love my job – really I do, I feel so blessed and honoured to be working for the church. But there are days when it’s all too much, when I have to do something I don’t want to do, when I get cross with my boss (I’m sure he won’t mind me saying that because I usually tell him when I am annoyed with him!). Just like anyone else.

I am a working woman trying to juggle a load of plates and just like anyone else I drop them. A lot. Especially when I am tired or hormonal (sorry TMI). On those days I cry a lot. There is snot. There is self-indulgent misery. There is shouting, and, on those days there is often swearing. I really don’t know what happens there but I feel sure that levels of female hormones are directly responsible for swearing…

So next time you look at someone and think they are something to be looked up to, think again!

I hope this post doesn’t sound at all ungracious, and is a bit ranty I know. I just want others to realise that what you see from someone isn’t always all there is…

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  • Reply
    Nancy Wallace
    May 28, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Couldn't agree more! I think most people who appear to be accomplishing a huge number of tasks either: 1.really don't need much sleep or 2.delegate lots of stuff to others or 3.have parts of life in a real mess. The last certainly applied to me – but less so now I'm retired. However I still don't iron (except in extreme circumstances), I do as little housework as I can get away with – there are so many more important, interesting and fun things to do!

  • Reply
    May 29, 2014 at 6:35 am

    How do you do it? 🙂

  • Reply
    May 29, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Thanks Nancy. It's amazing the number of people who have said to me, following this post, 'oh thats so me!'.

    Ernie….! thanks for reposting on FB BTW!

  • Reply
    November 7, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Sooo true! I rely on on line shopping. And we have a cleaner. And the kids have grown up (as much as lads in their late 20's EVER grow up) & left home which really helps though they do keep coming back!

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