Okay so here’s a little update on my back, which I’m dictating with the speech to text app, as even using my laptop at the moment it’s almost impossible. Praise God for technology! I was going to vlog it but I look so terrible I couldn’t face it!
So… day three post op and whilst medically I am doing well I’ve got to admit I was not prepared for this. Perhaps I’m a bit naïve (which has been said before), but this is more draining, physically and emotionally, than I thought it would be
It is so good to be home and be with my family but also I feel a bit isolated.
I’m spending most of the day lying on my back in bed. I can sit for 20 minutes at a time but only twice a day to start with. I am allowed to walk too, but small distances to start with. I thought that would seem very restrictive but to be honest I am completely exhausted. This morning having slept for eight hours I managed to get myself some breakfast but then was so tired I had to go back to bed and sleep for another two hours. I think that is what getting me most, just feeling so weak and feeble. I know part of that is the after-effects of the general anaesthetic and all the drugs I’ve been pumped full of. Of course I’ve been taking horrendous amounts of painkillers for over a month and then in the space of just a few hours had not just the anaesthetic, but various other necessary drugs like morphine, muscle relaxant, anti-biotics and who knows what else. They kept telling me in hospital because I’m so ‘slight’ that unfortunately that was probably why I was suffering so many after-effects, but I’m really hoping it will wear off soon.
My goal today was to manage a short walk, which is the one thing I am allowed to do. It took me until 3 o’clock just to feel able to attempt this but I managed it – all 100 yards of it – before having to retreat to bed again. And the next six weeks Will be a similar rota of lying down, walking as able, and sitting for increasingly longer periods, but with no bending or twisting whatsoever. In fact I can do less at the moment than I could before the op. I feel like I can’t do anything – I couldn’t even make myself tea earlier as I couldn’t lift the kettle! I couldn’t get dressed without Phil’s help and it probably doesn’t help that I seem to have lost my appetite completely so I need to remind myself to eat in order to gain much needed energy.
It seems ridiculous to feel so weak and helpless after what is essentially a simple procedure. I actually was shocked when I looked in the mirror earlier and saw how pale I looked. This first week will be basically sleeping I think!
I am determined to stay positive! There are so many good things in all of this. For a start the actual backpain from the prolapsed disc is 90% gone, which is simply staggering. After the op and they showed me the pieces of disk they had removed and they seemed so small to be causing such pain, but often that’s the way isn’t it! think about a paper cut for example!
I also prayed before I went in, for opportunities to share my faith and in the anaesthetic room as I was being put under I found myself talking to the anaesthetist about my journey to vicar school and that I had received prayer for healing. The next morning I shared my testimony with two nurses, in a comedy situation, as they washed me and helped me pee, I told them about Jesus!
In fact the staff were all amazing and dealt with me with such care, love and compassion. So much so that it actually made me feel quite emotional.
So… More positives…
my oldest just gave me access to her Netflix account, oh joy so many series to watch!
I have new pens and paper for more prayer doodling and still have plenty of time to pray and seek God.
And there are achievements too – small though they are – it’s only day three but each day I can do a bit more.
I can’t say how thankful I am to those who have rallied round me, not least my amazing husband who is practically a Saint. I’m trying not to ask too much of him but there is a lot to do around here even without me being incapacitated.
I’ve said it before but I will say it again, people have been amazing cooking us meals (and I’m very amused how the text-to-speech that thinks I’ve just said kick ass meals), brought me flowers, sent cards or emails, helped with the kids and just loved me. I am truly overwhelmed.