Well, the inevitable finally happened. My Nan passed away last night. This is the best photo I could find of her – taken at, yes you’ve guessed it, our wedding, 10 years ago…
I am thankful that I spent quite a lot of time with her in the last few days. Friday she was obviously going down hill but I was still able to talk to her. Then overnight they had to call in the doctor, so I went in again on Saturday and spent most of the morning with her. It was lovely to just be with her and as she was sleeping a lot I just prayed over her and annointed her with oil.
Yesterday I chose not to go in as it has been a pretty exhausting week and my mum and her sister were going in anyway. Then I heard this morning that she had passed away late last night.
And the funny thing is, last night as I went to bed, I was praying for her and I just had a picture in my head of Jesus taking her by the hand and helping her out of bed. She was much younger looking and agile (!) and he led her out of the window (odd I know..!). So I kind of expected her not to make it through the night. And I had that picture about half an hour before she actually died.
I am sad, but at the same time I know it is a blessed release for her. I thought I was fully prepared for her dying and how I would feel, but I still feel a real sense of loss. Visits with her haven’t always been enjoyable or pleasant as she has made it perfectly clear how she feels about being in the home, but it still feels strange that I won’t be going in to see her again. And I mourn the fact that I only really got to know her in her 90s. But I do thank God that I had that at least.
The one thing I was worried about was that she would be by herself at the end, but in actual fact the home called my mum and so I know that she, my Dad and my Aunt did arrive to be with her at the end. And she also had 3 nurses with her, one of whom is a committed Catholic and had been very close to my Nan, so I am so thankful for that.
Thank you all for your kind words and prayers over the last few weeks and months as I have shared on here what she has been going through and how I have been feeling. I really appreciate it. You are all lovely 🙂