So this week, I have been wondering about my friends and family. Some people say that when you get saved everyone will notice there is something different about you. I know that I have changed beyond all recognition but have my friends? Other than those few who I have told (and they are all Christians or sympathetic to it) I haven’t really had the guts to tell all. Funny because when all this first happened I just wanted to shout it from the roof tops – like ‘hey, guess what world? I found Jesus!’ (or rather he found me…). Now as I sink into this new path and this new life, and become comfortable with it, I am no less excited but I think ‘have any of them noticed yet?’ and if so why aren’t they asking me? I long to be asked and to tell them everything!
Today I went to have coffee with a Christian friend who told me she thought I had changed! – the first one to notice. She picked up on that fact that I am not swearing any more (and I did a lot before…) and the not drinking too (both my hubby and I have gone right off it, and saved a fortune in Tesco bills in the process! Not that we were alchies, but we do, or did have a penchant for red wine… ) and she said that when I talk I sound really different! It was so nice to hear.
I know my 14 year old was struggling a bit with this same issue a few weeks back and I told her that she didn’t need to go to school wearing a T-shirt saying ‘I heart Jesus’, but actually I wonder now if that would be easier! I have considered just putting it on my Facebook status, something like: ‘Joe Bloggs is well and truly smitten with Jesus…’ at least then I wouldn’t be constantly wondering whether they know or have noticed anything different. Not that I mind what they think actually… ok, so what would be the best Facebook status I could use? ‘Joe Bloggs has God in her life?’ ‘Joe Bloggs is born again?’ ‘Joe Bloggs has given her life to Christ?’ ‘Joe Bloggs has become a full on, all singing, all dancing, happy clappy, Jesus Freak?’ answers on a postcard please…
As part of all this I am re-evaluating everything, not because I need to, but because I want to and sometimes because I just have to – there are things that have gone immediately – like yoga – I did that for 10 years, but it’s gone now… There are so may things I used to do that I know feel unsure about it, or really negative about and it’s hard to know how to deal with them without either offending people or looking like a real oddball. When I stopped going to yoga I wrote a letter to my teacher as I have known her for a long time and the classes were really small and in her home, so I got to know her quite well. So I wrote to her and explained why I felt I couldn’t come anymore. It was very respectful of her beliefs and I told her how much I had enjoyed the classes in the past. It was not judgemental or condemning, just an explanation. And she didn’t even bother to reply. Although I tell myself this is not a big deal I did feel a bit hurt by this – I mean even if she didn’t understand she could have just said, ‘ok, nice knowing you’. So I guess because of this my judgement towards telling people is slightly clouded.
However… yesterday at work a colleague came in who I hadn’t seen for a while and she asked how I was doing and how the business was and I beat around the bush for a bit before just saying, look it might sound odd, but actually….. and so filled her in on what’s been going on. I felt like I should be honest with her and I know it was right because it turns out she is a Christian too and used to go to my church. I got the impression she was struggling with it a bit at the mo as she hasn’t found a new church and because her husband is not a believer, so who knows maybe I can be some support to her…
So with that in mind from now on I am going to try and be more open about it all. Ok so I’m not going to stand at the end of the road with a loud-haler but I won’t avoid ths issue either…
Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you. Psalms 25:21
1 Comment
Just Be Real/God Whispers In The Wind
March 12, 2010 at 11:30 pmRed, thank you for sharing. Thank you also for your comment on my blog. Means a whole lot. Blessings.