I had a rough few days last week – like many of us we’re facing difficult stuff and my emotions are all over the place. I like to be honest when I wrote and I know people appreciate it, but it isn’t always easy sharing deeper stuff so I wrote this. Some of you know I do regular 60 second sermons on BBC Sussex which are also in Spoken Word form, this is a bit longer! Based on some of the Psalms including Psalm 18 and 10…
Pandemic Psalm 1
A sock (smelly) lies discarded on the living room floor,
empty wrappers on the table, crisp crumbs littering this scene – now look this is not a clever metaphor –
it’s just the picture of my home, over used and under cleaned,
silver threads of cobwebs building in increasingly elaborate and frankly disturbing schemes –
in corners now inhabited by those desperately seeking space,
needing quiet, craving peace, longing for an uninterrupted moment of waking breath in this once comforting place.
In a fleeting second the darkness threatens to overwhelm me as unforeseen dusk descends
upon my mind, bindings of grief entangling my heart and torrents of devastation threatening to extend –
well beyond what I know to be true.
Digital presence brings tragic news of faces covered and unknown and yet waves of sadness flood my heart –
incomprehensible desolation engulfing my mind, a snare that longs to trap me in thoughts of the grave, tearing me apart.
In the aching of sorrow I call out for divine relief, to the Father of the helpless who hears my every cry –
Who knows every word that falls from my lips, whether clean – or quite possibly polluted – each teardrop and unattractive snivel, every ache of my broken weary soul, that refuses to comply,
and there’s always a but in a divine story –despite my insurgence, the failing devotion, increasing emotion, absence of dedication and frankly lack of bringing any glory:
You wear your own PPE,
Your celestial visor brings you a different, purer view of me,
Your breath brings life to my bones,
oxygen that keeps my lamp burning though the threat of blackness is strong.
You offer a path of rescue, arming me with strength to stand, wisdom to see the route connection – without the aid of google maps direction.
And I know my voice is heard,
by The Rock.
(No, not that one)
I mean The One who provides a welcome island in deep waters, an un-uniformed emergency service,
dragging us to the shore and performing CPR on our, if we are honest, less than worthy forms, with love fuelled purpose.
In this abundant stone I find refuge of safety,
that brings generous peace to mysoul, a ceasefire in the centre of my being, a harbour of still sea,
And it is in this rescue of truth that hope is seeded, courage watered and life flourishes abundant –
Though death & darkness prowl, they remain redundant.
Because my refuge, my saviour, my fortress, my stronghold,
always stands firm, no matter the wind, the storm or virus that demands us behold it
Regardless of our mistakes, the grey of our past, present or future, even deepest sins,
Love overcomes, love engulfs fear,
true love always, even in death, ALWAYS wins.
© Jules Middleton
ArinApril 25, 2020 at 10:20 pm
Thanks Jules for this wonderful piece
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[…] 2 days off (having not really taken a day off for weeks) I found myself weeping uncontrollably. I wrote a Psalm, expressing the sense of grief, of feeling […]